關鍵投票 Swing Vote
經過一場激烈的選舉戰之後 After a hotly contested race,
今天是美國選民 Americans go to the polls today
為這場激烈選戰投票的日子 In what promises to be a very close election.
共和黨人Andrew Boone希望借擊敗 The republican Andrew Boone, hoping to
民主黨競選者Donald Greenleaf Hold on to the oval office by edging out
繼續保持在白宮的地位 The democratic challenger Donald Greenleaf.
世上最好的爸爸
Bud Bud Bud...Bud.
Bud Bud!
我去...我去叫他回來 I'll call...I'll call him back.
假如我們有電話還差不多 快點吧 If we had a phone, you could. Come on!
該死 真冷啊 Goddamnit! It's cold.
我們又要遲到了 你得洗個澡 We're gonna be late again. You need a shower.
你竟然和衣而睡 Can't believe you slept in your clothes!
有熱水嗎 Leave me any hot water?
不知道啊 熱水器難道自己好了嗎 I don't know. Water heater fix itself?
天啊 Molly 你今天乾脆別上學了 Christ, Molly! why don't you just take the day off, okay?
我給你寫請假條 I'll write you a note.
快 我再說最後一遍 Now! I'm not going to tell you again!
起來 Get up!
Bud Bud!
行了 我來了 Alright, I'm coming!
-那是什麼 -雞蛋沙拉 - What? - Egg salad.
又是? Again?
你喜歡雞蛋沙拉 You like egg salad.
天天吃也不行 你該弄點別的菜式 Well, not every damn day I don't. You could mix it up a little.
我們手頭有點緊 We're on a Budget.
你想吃得豐盛 就少喝點啤酒 You wanna eat better? Drink less beer.
-好吧 -好吧 - Fine. - Fine.
-今天的事情別忘了 -今天是什麼日子 - and don't forget today. - what's... what's today?
選舉日啊 笨蛋 Election day, dummy!
我應該要做一篇關於你投票的報告 記得嗎 I'm supposed to do a report on you voting, remember?
我早就跟你說了 我都沒註冊的 I already told you before I'm not even registered.
我幫你用郵件註冊了 I registered for you in the mail.
太好了 現在我可以當陪審員了 That's great, I could get jury duty now.
-這是你的公民責任 -是我的公民什麼 - It's your civic responsibility. - It's my civic, my what?
是你的公民責任 It's your civic responsibility.
我的公民責任 你從哪學的這些鬼東西的 My civic responsibility? Where you learning this crap?
Abernathy夫人說的 Mrs. Abernathy.
你少跟她來往 Well, stay away from her.
她是我的老師 She's my teacher.
簽字吧 Sign this.
這是什麼 What is it?
問卷調查 A questionnaire.
我應該要問你的關於政治的問題 I'm supposed to ask you about your politics.
行 開始吧 Well, go ahead.
我已經填完了 I already filled it in.
我希望你的形象聰明點 I wanted you to sound smart.
第一個問題是什麼 Give me the first question anyway.
你的政治派系是什麼 What's your political affiliation?
好吧 我是個拒服兵役者 Alright, I'm a conscious objector.
這不是戰爭 Bud 是選舉 It's not a war, Bud. it's an election.
你是無黨派 And you are an independent.
無黨派 為什麼我要是無黨派 Independent? Why in the hell would I be an independent?
因為這個兩黨體系 Because the two party system
忽略了那些貧窮工人們的需求 Has neglected the needs of the working poor.
這就是原因 That's why.
-寶貝 聽我說...-又來了 - Let me tell you something, baby... - Here we go again.
投票根本沒有任何的作用 The voting doesn't count for a goddamn thing.
只會給你錯覺 Just a way to make you feel like
以為自己可以控制某些東西 You're in control of something.
投給誰都無所謂 事實無法改變 It doesn't matter who you vote for, won't change the fact.
我們已經買不起保險了 要是你病了 We can't afford insurance and if you get sick,
我又要去賣血賺錢了 I'm gonna have to start selling my blood again.
Abernathy夫人說每張選票都算數的 Mrs. Abernathy said every vote counts.
這是種社會契約 It's a social contract.
社會契約 這個Abernathy夫人真是滿口胡言 It's a social contract. This Mrs. Abernathy is full of shit.
下班後在投票站等我 Meet me at the polling place after work.
好吧 Fine.
忘記什麼了嗎 You forgetting something?
Bud 要是你把這個搞砸了我會離開你的 Bud, screw this up and I'm leaving you.
做好學生啊 Do good!
Dewey跑到哪去了 Where the hell is dewey?
他請假了 He got laid off.
胡說 他得到內包了 Bullshit! He got insourced.
內包 Insourced?
對 把我們的工作讓給墨西哥人 Insourced. Instead of exporting our jobs to Mexico.
他們雇墨西哥人搶我們的飯碗 They're importing Mexicans to take our jobs.
你真是個妄想狂 知道嗎 You're paranoid, you know that?
注意 今天上午的開市正式取消 Attention! The opening this morning is officially cancelled.
我都聽不懂那該死的通知了 I can't even read the damn signs no more!
夥計們 我們的好日子不長了 記住我的話 Our days are numbered, fellas. You mark my words!
這些人幹得多拿得少 These hombres work twice as hard for half the money.
我剛意識到他們更需要這份工作 I just figure they need this job twice as bad as us!
你到底站在哪邊 Whose side are you on?
我不選邊站的 Lowell 只是遠離是非 I don't take sides, lowell. Just stating out this.
接下來 他們就要奪走我們的投票權了 Next thing, they'll be taking away our right to vote.
Bud 你投票了嗎 You voting, Bud?
那是社會契約 對吧 It's a social contract, isn't it?
你投給誰了 Who are you voting for?
天曉得 Shit if I know!
我想我要拿雙重陰影 好像是8號 I think I picked up a couple shades. Looks like an eight.
Marty 你覺得怎麼樣 What do you think, Marty?
我不希望看到佛羅里達州有差距 I don't like the margin in Florida.
你帶一些年輕的共和黨人 I want you to bus some young republicans down to
去Palm Beach的投票站 The polling stations in Palm Beach.
一定要是高個兒的金髮男人 Make sure they're tall, they're blonde and they're men.
為什麼 Why?
老猶太人看到那些憤怒的年輕白人 Because old Jews see a pack of angry young white males
就會重新考慮要不要下車投票了 And they're gonna think twice about getting out of their car!
這就是原因 That's why.
肯尼迪才9號 但他讓人成功登月了 Kennedy was a nine. And he put a man on the moon.
那正是我們需要努力爭取的東西 That's what we need. Something to shoot for.
一個致勝的法寶 比如...我也不知道 A defining moment. Like... I don't know.
治癒癌症 Cure for cancer.
俄亥俄州 每隔二十分鐘播同性戀婚姻廣告 Ohio run the gay marriage ad every twenty minutes.
看看能否讓那些 Let's see if we can't get
虔誠的中立派改變主意 Those god fearing bastards off the fence.
我們不如抓一些科學家 Why not? we take a bunch of scientists,
把他們丟在沙漠之類的地方 Put them in the desert somewhere
就像曼哈頓計劃一樣 Like the Manhattan project.
你在聽我說話嗎 我是認真的 Are you listening to me? I'm serious about this.
我認為在癌症的問題上 I think that cancer is going to be a tough nut
無法一蹴而就 先生 To crack in one term, sir.
所以我們會制定十年計劃 So, we make it a ten year plan.
-林肯看到奴隸制的終結了嗎 -沒有 - Lincoln got to see the end of slavery? - No.
-肯尼迪看到登月壯舉了嗎 -沒有 - Did Kennedy get to see the moon shot? - Nope.
都沒有 但是他們卻流芳千古 No! But they got the credit!
那是因為他們有目標 It's the idea that counts.
那些設立目標的人才會被載入史冊 The guy that sets the goal gets in the history books!
希望和積極 告訴你 Marty Hope and positivity! I tell you, Marty,
美國人民需要一張燦爛的笑臉 The American people want a bright shining smile
來做出這個國家對他們的承諾 to represent the promise of this country.
沒錯 Yep.
看看那兒的老Georgie Take Old Georgie there.
兄弟 他真是了不起 Boy, he was off the charts.
他們願意讓他當王 They wanted to make him king.
上帝之子 Son of a God
謝謝 感謝前來 Thank you, thank you for coming.
Galena和我要感謝美國 Galena and I would like to thank America
給我們這次光榮的機會 For this glorious opportunity.
在這次漫長的選舉戰中 I have met people of every race, color and creed
我見到了不同種族 膚色 信仰的人們 During this long campaign.
我向你們保證 我領導的白宮 I pledge to you that my white house
將會是一座彩虹之家 Will be a rainbow house.
它永遠會向各種膚色和信仰的人們敞開 It'll be open to people of all colors and creeds.
現在請去投票吧 我們需要你們的支持 Now, please, go and vote. We need your support.
很好 我要去應付媒體了 That was great. I'm gonna go do press.
好的 Great.
Greenleaf Greenleaf Greenleaf! Greenleaf!
Gallup顯示你下降了一個百分點 Gallup has you down by a point.
CNN USA Today說我們上升了兩個百分點 CNN, USA Today, has us up by two.
而FoxNews說我們下降了六十個百分點 And FoxNews has us down by sixty.
你對於現在這種 What message are you trying to get out
勝負未定的局面有何評價 To the undecideds today?
我的意見依然相同 The same message we put out yesterday,
不管是昨天 上周 Last week and last year...
還是在去年開展選戰的時候 When we started this campaign
那也是我們獲勝的原因 And that's why we're going to win.
我們胸有成竹 Because we have the answers.
這不是些陳詞濫調和無謂浮誇 Not platitudes and jingoistic rhetoric.
而是名副其實的事實 This is the truth train operation real deal.
近來 總統聲稱 In recent days, the president has aired ads
Greenleaf去天體營度假 Claiming Greenleaf has vacationed at a nudist colony.
算了吧 那只是些莫須有的罪名 Come on, now, that's a tired accusation. It's pure fiction.
那麼 你怎麼解釋那些照片呢 Then, how do you answer for the photos?
那只是右翼分子的部落客塗鴉 Right wing blogo-smear, that's how.
我大可以站在這裡 Look, I could stand here and perpetuate the rumor
繼續傳播謠言 That as a young man the president
說總統年輕時是個賭徒 Had a gambling addiction,
但我不會淪為他們一樣的烏合之眾 But I'm not got going to sink to their level.
毫無根據 只知道信口開河 Despite eye witness accounts and documentation.
我們不會坐以待斃的 They sling mud, we sling ideas.
還有 如果Greenleaf失敗了 Still, if Greenleaf loses
你們就是七連敗了 You'll be 0 for 7 on the national scene.
Betty 謝謝 對不起 到此為止吧 Thank you, Betty. Sorry, folks, that's all I have time for.
吸血鬼 Leeches!
為什麼投票就那麼重要呢 Why it's important to vote.
許多勇敢的戰士犧牲了自己 Many brave soldiers sacrificed themselves.
這是我們應得的權利 A right we take for granted.
-為了人民 -通過人民 - For the people. - By the people.
我們人民 We the people!
我看不清我的字了 I can't read my writing.
世界上所有偉大的文明 All the world's great civilizations
都遵循著同一個規律 Have followed the same path.
從束縛到自由 從自由到富裕 From bondage, to liberty, from liberty to abundance,
從富裕到滿足 From abundance to complacency.
從滿足到冷漠 From complacency to apathy.
從冷漠又回到了束縛 From apathy back to bondage.
要想改變歷史 If we're to be the exception to history,
我們必須打破這個循環 Then we must break the cycle.
為了那些已經忘記 For those who do not remember
歷史會重演的人們 The past are condemned to repeat it.
很棒 你們都很棒 Very good, everybody. Very good.
拿著這個 Hold this.
好的 記住 Okay, remember.
走廊上不許奔跑打鬧 No running till you get out to the playground.
最後一個很棒 我想用在新聞裡 Your last one was great. I'd like to use it on the news.
-Molly的嗎 -是的 - Molly? - Yes.
Molly 過來 Molly, come here.
Molly 這是Madison女士 Molly, This is Ms. Madison.
她是新聞記者 She's the reporter from the news.
-你好 Molly -你好 - Hi, Molly. - Hi.
-還好嗎 -很好 - How you doing? - Good.
你的文章很有深度 Your essay was very thoughtful.
謝謝 Thanks.
Madison女士今晚想在電視上發表你的文章 Ms. Madison is going to show your essay tonight.
-這真是太令人激動了 -是的 - Isn't that exciting? - Yes, madam.
Molly 告訴我 Tell me something, Molly.
長大以後想幹什麼 What do you want to be when you grow up?
我有點拿不定主意 I go back and forth.
獸醫或者美聯儲主席都行 Either a veterinarian or chairman of the Fed.
Bud在哪 Where's Bud?
半小時前去撒尿了 Went to take a leak half an hour ago.
我聽到喇叭在叫他的名字 I heard his name over the loudspeaker.
你午餐吃的什麼 What'd you have for lunch?
-雞蛋沙拉 你呢 -白煮蛋 - Egg salad. You? - Hard boiled.
你好 Bud Hey, Bud.
只是想提醒你一下 Just giving you a heads up.
管理層讓我們再裁掉百分之十的人 Management wants us to cut another ten percent.
Carl 你就是管理層 Well, you are management, Carl.
聽著 這六個月你都沒按時打卡上班 Look, you haven't punched in on time in six months.
沒錯 我偶爾會遲到那麼五分鐘 So, I'm five minutes late every once in a while.
那又能怎樣 What is the big whoop?
你今年請31天病假 Bud You took thirty-one sick days this year, Bud.
Carl 我有孩子 她會在學校染病回家 Well, I gotta kid, Carl. She brings it home from school.
靠 該死 Shit! Goddamnit!
該死 Carl Well, hell, Carl!
你應該在進來的時候 You could have showed me your footage
就放這段錄像的 When you walked in.
Bud 我知道我們曾經一起讀書 I know we went to school together, Bud.
我也一直都很喜歡你 I've always liked you.
給我一個讓你留下的理由 You gotta give me one good reason why I should keep you.
繼續僱傭你的原因 Why I can keep you.
都見鬼去吧 All hellsabelle!
很抱歉你丟掉工作了 Sorry you lost your job.
沒關係 Henry 只是 That's alright, Henry. Just...
贏了你的錢之後 我就從解雇變成退休了 As soon as take your money, I'm going from fired to retired.
-Bud -怎麼了 - Hey, Bud! - Yes?
Molly上電視了 Molly is on tv!
-從冷漠又回到了束縛 -天啊 - Apathy back to bondage. - Geez!
要想改變歷史 If we are to be the exception to history,
我們必須打破這個循環 Then we must break the cycle.
-Curly 幾點了 -七點過九分 - curly, what time you got? - Nine past seven.
天啊 God!
天啊 該死 God, man! Shit!
該死 Goddamnit!
請插入你的選票 Please, insert your ballot.
錯誤碼 - 請重新設置 Error code - Reset requiered
我撞傷頭了 I hurt the top of my head.
快 躺下 Come on, lay down.
真對不起 寶貝 I'm so sorry, baby.
我想和媽媽一起生活 I want to live with mom.
我也是 Me too.
New Mexico是出了名的搖擺不定的州 New Mexico is a classic swing state.
-Madison夫人嗎 -請講 - Mrs. Madison? - Speaking.
我是New Mexico競選委員會的 I'm calling from the New Mexico election board.
-是什麼 -New Mexico競選委員會 - The what? - The new mexico election board.
女士 昨晚你在Texico的一個投票站 Madam, did you cast your vote at
投票了對嗎 A Texico polling station last night?
今天早上投的 I voted in the morning.
是早上 好的 In the morning. Alright.
有什麼問題嗎 Is there something the matter?
沒有 沒有 很抱歉打擾你了 No, no, sorry to bother you.
太不可思議了 除了New Mexico之外 It is amazing. With every state but New Mexico reporting
在其它所有州都平分秋色 We're now in a dead heat for the American presidency.
兩位候選者均 Each candidate with virtually
獲得了數量相當的選票 The same amount of electoral votes.
270 只要到了這個神奇的數 就大功告成了 270, the magic number to win. This is a real photo finish!
無論誰贏得了州內最多的選票 And it goes to whoever wins the popular vote in the state.
所有五張選舉團的選票都會投給該黨 All five electoral college votes then swing to that party.
New Mexico被稱為迷人之地真是名副其實 Well, they don't call it the land of enchantment for nothing.
贏New Mexico者贏天下 Whoever takes New Mexico, takes the white house.
這真是似曾相識 It's like Deja Vu over again.
2000年度總統選舉就取決於Dade County了 2000 presidential election came down to Dade County.
在Florida一億零五百萬人中 400 votes in the state of Florida,
將產生400張選票 Out of a total of 105 million cast.
若也是平局的話 If this is a certified tie,
兩位候選人則繼續平分秋色 Neither the candidate would receive the majority.
我們該如何來解決這個問題呢 Do we even have a president to deal with this?
根據第12號修正案的規定 Pursuant to the 12th amendment,
眾議院將進行最後裁決 The house of representatives would decide.
而上一次出現這種情況可以追溯到 That hasn't happened since
John Quincy Adams在1824年 John Quincy Adams defeated
打敗Andrew Jackson Andrew Jackson back in 1824.
真是罕見啊 We're talking rare.
我說 對這個國家的人來說 Isn't this a great civics lesson
這真是一次難得的公民教育 To the people of this country, I tell you?
如果New Mexico有人沒投票的話 If anyone in New Mexico didn't vote,
他現在就該踹死他自己 He be kicking themselves right now.
最新消息顯示 The latest reports coming in,
Curry County的情況依然難分伯仲 Curry County still too close to call.
選舉竟然取決於一個郡 This election is down to a single county.
這真的可能嗎 Is this even possible?
John 聽著 Texico只有653個已註冊選民 Listen, John, there's only 653 registered voters in Texico.
而他們已經開始重算選票了 And they've already recounted those votes.
我知道 儘是這種沒用的消息 I know this. With that information and a dollar,
我乾脆回家賣紅薯算了 I could buy myself a chalupa!
所有投票的人都被分別打電話確認了 Everyone I know who voted has been personally called.
所以呢 So what?
所以 這場選舉雖然號稱取決於Curry County So, the election. The fact that it's down to Curry County
但我敢肯定其實跟Texico有關 I'm telling you it has something to do with Texico.
天啊 我一會打給你 Oh my god. Call you back!
Bud Bud!
快點 Come on!
天啊 我的頭 God, my head!
什麼 幾點了 What? What time is it?
有些人要見你 There's some people here to see you.
什麼人 Some people?
他們看上去像官員 They look official.
-兒童服務中心嗎 -我覺得也是 - Child services? - That's what I'm thinking.
-好吧 -我們走 - Okay. - Here we go.
Johnson先生 我們該先聯繫你的 Mr. Johnson, we would have called first,
可是你沒有電話 But you don't have a telephone.
不 不 不 我們有電話 No, no, no, we got a phone.
只是目前線路不能連 但很快解決的 It's just not connected right now. but I'm on it, you know.
自從妻子離開後生活不易 但 I'm not gonna say it's been easy since the wife left, but...
-我們能應付 -當然 - we're getting on fine.Molly and me - sure are.
我會把這些付清 我發誓 And I'm gonna pay these off, I swear.
只要找到新工作 Just as soon as I find a new job.
-新工作 -對 - a new job? - yes.
我曾參加willy nelson翻唱樂隊 I used to be in this Willy Nelson tribute band.
我正策劃 I was thinking about...
重新組隊 Getting the guys back together again,
前提是我們的貝斯手能保釋出來 Soon as our bass player gets paroled.
-Johnson先生 -至於喝酒 我知道 - Mr. Johnson - And the drinking, I know it,
我知道這很糟 I know it looks bad.I know it.
我已經把戒酒提上日程了 And licking that sucker is at the top of my list.
拜託你們別把Molly帶走 Please don't take Molly away from me.
我會照你們說的做 我發誓 I'll do anything you say, I swear.
她是我唯一的寶貝 She's just my only good thing.
Johnson先生 我們不是社會服務部的 Mr. Johnson, we're not from social services.
不是嗎 No?
我們是州競選辦事處的 We're from the state election bureau.
幹! 感謝上帝 Fuck! thank you, Jesus!
我是州務卿brower I'm secretary of state Brower.
這位是檢察長wyatt And this is attorney general Wyatt.
Johnson先生 你昨晚投出選票了嗎 Mr. Johnson, did you cast your vote last night?
昨晚 你投選票了嗎 Last night, did you vote?
沒錯 那是公民義務不是嗎 That's right, it's my civic duty, isn't it?
確實如此 Indeed it is.
Johnson先生 這是您的簽名嗎 Mr. Johnson, is this your signature?
我猜是吧 I guess.
自己的簽名還用猜 You guess it's your signature?
不 沒錯 這的確是我的簽名 No, no. that's right. that's my signature.
你是否保留著存根 Did you retain your stub?
什麼存根 What stub?
你選票上的存根 The perforated stub on top of your ballot.
Molly 存根在哪呢 Molly where's that perforated stub
我給你做學校項目的 That I gave you for your school project?
我去拿 I've got it.
就是他 It's him.
-沒錯 是他 -什麼意思 指我嗎 - Yeah, it's him. - what do you mean, "him?" me, him?
先生 你的選票作廢了 Sir, your vote didn't count.
Johnson先生 我們有責任通知您 Mr. Johnson, it's our duty to inform you...
您有資格及時的 That you are entitled to recast your ballot
重新投票 In a timely manner.
如果我不想投呢 What if I don't want to?
Bud Bud!
好吧 那麼 我現在 Alright then, how about if I,
悄悄的告訴你們結果 How about if I just whisper it to you then?
事情就這樣了結如何 Right here we'd get it over with, right now
你也可以聽 And you can listen too!
不 先生 合法的程序要嚴格遵從 No, sir, there are strict rules and legal procedures.
去它的合法 夥計們 我請不起律師 Legal shit. shit, fellas, I can't afford a lawyer.
你沒惹麻煩 Johnson先生 不需要律師 You're not in trouble.Mr.Johnson. you don't need a lawyer.
不過 倒是必須宣誓 However, I will have to administer an oath.
宣誓? An oath?
宣誓 請將手放到聖經上 An oath. please, place your hand on the bible.
忠實的Johnson 你是否 Do you, Earnest Johnson...
發誓將以守法精神重新投票 Swear to recast your ballot in the spirit of the law?
是的 當然 Yeah, yes, sure. okay.
儀式結束 So noted.
將以你的名義請願 A petition will be filed on your
定下你重新投票的日期 Behalf and a date will be set for your revote.
這表示我要參與快速立法嗎 Does this put me on some sort of fast track list?
像那些陪審團 You know, for like jury duty?
考慮到事情的嚴肅性 Considering the gravity of this situation,
我們需要保密 I think you should keep all of this a secret.
祝您晚安 Have a good night.
-對不起 -你確實該道歉 - Sorry. - You should be!
因為你 我惹上大麻煩了 I could get into all kinds of trouble because of you!
天啊 媽的 Molly Gosh,damn it. Molly!
你為什麼不能安分一點呢 Why can't you learn just to let things be?
我說過這對我很重要 你就是不聽 I told you this was important to me, but you never listen!
新墨西哥州競選部門報道 New Mexico elections bureau is reporting...
一張作廢的選票目前成關鍵 A single irregular ballot is holding up a final decision in the state.
如我所言 一張選票 一張 鄉親們 As I said, a single ballot. that's one vote, folks!
這再奇怪不過了 This really couldn't get any stranger,
微軟廣播網得知 MSNBC has learned that the voter...
投票者身份已查明 並同意重投 Has been identified and has agreed to recast the ballot.
這張選票將結束 One voter will decide the fate
本州五輪的競選 of the state's five electoral votes.
在這奇妙的一天 大家會銘記 On this bizarre day, no one will soon forget,
一個美國公民將會選出 One American citizen...Will effectively choose
美國下一任的總統 the next president of the United States.
明顯是投票機故障了 Apparently the electronic voting machine malfunctioned.
選票已經掃瞄 但還未計算 The ballot was scanned, but the machine died
-就已經當機 -這很異常 - Before the vote was counted.- It's an anomaly.
見鬼了larry 那個機器在哪個投票站 No shit, Larry! what polling station was the machine in?
Texico 新墨西哥州 長官 Texico, new Mexico, sir.
那真的是個地方嗎 Is that a place?
Texico在什麼鬼地方 Where the hell is Texico?
在新墨西哥 俄勒岡州 New Mexico, sir, Curry County.
當地的選舉法表明 New Mexico election law dictates
如果投票者的權利被侵犯了 If a voter's right is violated by the states...
他有權再一次投票 我很清楚 The voter shall be-entitled to recast the ballot. I know.
好了 孩子們 準備開戰 Alright, kids, we're going to war.
地圖 快給我拿地圖 A map! somebody get me a map!
一個笨蛋妨礙了我們進駐白宮 There's one schmuck standing between us
查清他的身份 And the white house. Find out who it is.
這麼做不合法 We can't do that legally.
總之把他揪出來 Just find him.
今天我們應該要學習從果膠提取細胞質 We were supposed to make cytoplasm out of jell today.
哪有孩子寧願呆坐教室 What kinda kid would rather sit in a crummy classroom...
而不願來這裡 Than be out here?
哪有父親會來釣魚 What kind of father goes fishing
而不去找新工作 When he should be looking for a new job?
因為這個父親 The kind who would just like...
想多花點時間陪陪女兒 To spend a little more time with his daughter.
那就是我 That's who.
-好吧 -好吧 - fine. - fine.
而且我需要點思考時間 Anyway, I've been thinking.
多令人振奮啊 How refreshing!
上帝 你能不能別總是那麼聰明 Jesus! you gotta quit being such a smart ass all the time?
你能不能總是用上帝詛咒人 And you've got to stop using jesus
他拯救了無數世人 as a cuss word all the time! He's a billion people's savior.
好吧 我知道了 Alright, fine, okay? I get it.
-好吧 -好吧 - fine. - fine.
真希望 你母親能在身邊 I wish... your mom could be here...
和你談談身邊的事, 我真的想 To talk to you about everything that's going on. - I really do
她不願意 She doesn't want to be.
不 她想 但是不能 No, she... no, she can't.
她做不到 寶貝 She's just, she can't, baby.
Bud Bud.
下週二 是父親訪校日 Next tuesday, is bring your father to school day.
-然後呢 -我希望你能來 - so? - I want you to come.
我是無業遊民 不會讓你尷尬嗎 It's not gonna embarrass you that I don't have a job?
我不介意 I don't care.
只要你能來 I want you to come anyway.
-能記得嗎 -當然 - think you can remember? - of course.
怎麼記 How?
我寫在腦門上 I'll write it on my forehead.
我能去學校了嗎 Can I go to school, now?
行 再拋竿一次 Yes. just one more cast.
你先去發動汽車 you go start the truck.
保證雙人鏡頭 趕快 Try to get a two shot, alright? okay, come on!
Earnest Johnson Earnest Johnson!
-有事嗎 -我是Kate Madison - yes? - Kate Madison.
-你好 -你好 - hi, there. - hi.
狗屁 你是那個新聞主持人 Shit! you're the lady from the news.
沒錯 我想問你幾個問題 I am, and I'd like to ask you a few questions.
你比電視上好看多了 You know, you're much prettier than you are on the TV.
謝謝 我想 Thanks. I would...
別誤會 你在電視上也好看 Don't get me wrong, you're pretty on the TV too.
只是我們的老款電視 你看起來變形了 Just, we got an old set that kinda "squirshes" you.
什麼人都變形 Squishes everybody.
那當然 Johnson先生 我想 I am sure it does, Mr. Johnson. I like to...
你可以叫我Bud You can call me Bud.
Bud 你能否透露為什麼那些人 Bud. I was hoping you could tell me why those men...
大半夜從聖德菲飛過來和你會面呢 Flew from Santa Fe, to see you in the middle of the night.
事實上 我答應要保密的 Well, actually, I kinda promised to keep that a secret.
是指保密你將重新投票一事嗎 You mean, you're going to recast your vote.
狗屎 似乎這 Well, shit, I guess that I guess
不是什麼大秘密啊 It ain't that much of a secret then. Is it?
現在聽好 Bud 注意用語 Now, listen, Bud, you need to watch your language.
-我們是在錄電視節目 -用語 - we're taping this for TV, okay? - the language?
天殺的 當然沒問題 Goddamnit, yes of course!
現在的問題是 The question now is,
你將選票投給誰 是否會投出相同選票 Who you voted for and are you going to vote the same way?
再提醒我一下是誰參加競選 Remind me again who's running?
你的意思是 保留意見 What you're saying is, you're keeping an open mind?
沒錯 Yeah, that's...
我就是這樣的性格 That's the kinda guy I am.
開什麼玩笑 You gotta be kidding me!
這是全國性新聞 不止 This is OJ big. bigger!
我要打電話給網絡 I gotta call network!
John 讓我追蹤報道 John, let me break the story.
我以為這輩子沒指望了 I thought I was gonna die in this shit hole.
你說過時機成熟 You said that when the time was right,
就給我機會的 時機到了 You'd give me a chance. That's the time!
我們又能回復收視率 整個城市 We'll be back to a real market.The city!
電梯 中國餐館 監獄和出租車 elevators and chinese restaurants and crime and traffic.
我拿到了 拿到了Mrs. Zachary獲獎表演的帶子 I got the tape of Mrs. Zachary's prize winning sow.
去她的Mrs. Zachary 去她的表演 Screw Mrs. Zachary. and screw the sow!
你得向我保證 You promised me.
接通網絡 別搞砸了 Get network on the phone. Don't screw it up.
-你不會後悔的 -最好這樣 Darlene - you won't regret it! - better not! Darlene!
你爸爸會來嗎 So... is your dad coming to talk to our class?
我不知道 I don't know.
自從媽媽去世後他就待在家裡 Doesn't really leave the house much since my mom left.
我媽媽也離開了 Mine left too.
其實她在阿爾伯克基追蹤明星夢 She's pursuing a singing career in albuquerque.
等她成名了 我就能搬過去了 I'm going to move there when she becomes a big star.
到時她每天都能帶我巡迴演出 And she's gonna take me on tour and everything.
她也許會在Austin開演唱會 She'll probably do a concert in Austin.
我能給你免費門票 I could get you free tickets.
也許 我還能借我父親的車 Maybe. guess I could borrow my dad's car.
等他喝醉了 有時還可能不省人事 I'll wait till he gets drunk. sometimes he passes out.
我能玩你的滑板嗎 Do you think I could try your sKateboard?
沒問題 Okay.
我是俄勒岡州之王 John I'm the king of Curry County, John,
我主持15年了 And I've been 15 years at this desk.
我有同感 Ted 別逼我叫保安 I feel for you, Ted. Don't make me call security.
聖母瑪利亞啊 Holy crap!
你 到主持台就座 You, desk! sit!
大家準備 30秒後開始 People, we go live in 30 seconds!
現在開始 倒計時 From this point on, the news counts!
太興奮 不注意口音了 天啊 So excited, I got my accent back. My God!
校準圖像 And cue graphics!
校準音樂 And cue music!
對準 Kate And cue Kate!
晚上好 Good evening.
我是Kate Madison This is Kate Madison,
從俄勒岡州新墨西哥向你報道 Coming to you from Curry County, new Mexico.
過去的24小時內 美國政壇止步不前 Over the last 24 hours, the American political process...
在世界矚目中 Has ground to a virtual standstill as the world watches...
期待著競選結果 Waiting for the outcome of an election.
今早 我揭示了 Earlier today, I uncovered the identity...
這個全世矚目的神秘人身份 Of the person the entire world has been looking for.
持有關鍵票的投票者 The one swing voter who will decide the election.
那些期待競選結果的人 Those of you hoping to hear that decision
要大失所望了 Will be sorely disappointed.
因為他是一個 獨立自主 Because you are about to meet a registered independent...
保持自己觀點的人 Who claims to be keeping an open mind.
想像一下 這個男人的肩膀上 Imagine, on this man's shoulders...
擔負著美國的將來 Stands the future of the free world.
我就是那樣的人 Just the kind of guy I am.
我們不能再說 Let it never again be said,
一張選票算不上什麼 That a single vote counts for nothing.
Bud Bud!
幹什麼 What?
外面有很多人 There's some people outside.
天啊 你不能再這樣弄醒我了 Geez, you gotta stop waking me up like this, okay?
你想殺死我啊 You're gonna kill me.
外面有很多人 There are some people outside!
人 People?
天啊 God!
不 不在那裡 在前門 No, not there! out front!
天啊 現在算怎麼回事 Oh, god... what now?
-爸爸 快點 -我已經很快了 寶貝 - dad, hurry up! - yeah, I'm going, honey.
外面很多人 There's a lot of people out there.
好的 我們看看到底怎麼回事 Okay, honey, let's see what the fuss is all about.
是他嗎 Is that him?
Bud Bud!
Johnson先生 做出決定了嗎 Mr. Johnson, any decisions yet?
-上帝啊 -他們想幹什麼 - holy shit! - what do they want?
我不知道 I don't know.
去開電視 寶貝 Go turn the TV on, baby.
這是歷史性的一刻 We are in the midst of a historic moment.
自由選民的身份終於曝光 The swing voter has finally been identified.
我們在新墨西哥Texico的一輛拖車上進行現場報導 We go live now to a trailer in Texico, new Mexico.
Earnest Johnson幾分鐘前露過面 Earnest Johnson made an appearance just moments ago.
明顯招架不住媒體的攻勢 Apparently, overwhelmed by the media presence.
Landry先生 And Mr. Landry,
你認識Earnest Johnson多久了 Exactly how long have you known Earnest Johnson?
Earnest Johnson 嗨 Earnest Earnest Johnson? hey, Earnest!
-你是說Bud嗎 -我們一起長大的 - you mean Bud? - we all grew up together.
你認為他會如何承擔這重任 How do you think he's shouldering the responsibility...
選出下一位美國總統 Of picking the next president of the united states?
這肯定是 Well, I'm sure that...
Earnest肯定尿褲子了 Earnest is... crapping his pants.
他是個好人 對大家都很好 He's a good guy. he likes to treat them good.
我們曾經燒了一輛吉普車 We used to light the Mesa back here on fire!
都是我的錯 是嗎 It's all my fault, isn't it?
不 不是 寶貝 No! no, no, no, baby, no.
這些本不該發生 都怪我讓你失望了 None of this would have happened if I hadn't let you down.
我們該怎麼辦 What are we gonna do?
我要讓這些人知難而退 I'm gonna back these people up.
上帝啊 Holy shit!
太多人了 There's so many!
我要出去 好的 我現在就去 Ok, I'm just gonna go out there, right? I'm gonna...
勇敢走出去 I'm gonna walk out there
告訴他們不是我投的選票 And tell those people it wasn't me who voted.
不 不能這麼做 No, you can't!
為什麼 Why not?
你對檢察官發誓了 對著聖經 You swore to that judge, on a bible and everything.
三更半夜的 不算數 What? that was the middle of the night. that can't count!
你發過誓言了 Bud 偽造選票是重罪 You were under oath, Bud. voter fraud is a felony.
再犯一次錯 他們就會把我帶走 And one more felony and they take me away from you.
你說的對 媽的 我剛才暈了 You're right. shit! I am down to one!
該怎麼辦 What do we do?
說謊 必須這麼做 We lie. we have to.
好計劃 只是一個善意的謊言 Okay, that's a good plan. just a little white lie is all this is.
-只有我們知道 -只有我們知道 - between us. - just between us.
誰知道呢 說不定這件事 Who knows, maybe this thing, all these...
這些人 會突然消失 Maybe all these people, they just go away.
停 停 Stop! stop!
這算怎麼回事 What the hell is this?
這是我們能找到的最大空間了 The biggest space we could find.
該怎麼進行 為一個人再來次競選嗎 How we gonna do this? build a campaign around one man?
-我不知道該怎麼辦 -交給我吧 - I Don't know how to do this. - you're gonna leave it to me.
我們會拉到他的選票的 Don 肯定會的 We're gonna win him, Don! we're gonna win this guy.
這邊風景獨好 We got the issues on our side!
-這就對了 -他會愛上我的 - there you go! - he's gonna love me!
給個不愛你的理由 What's not to love?
我們有麻煩了 We're in trouble.
我要你查到Earnest Johnson的所有資料 I need you to dig up everything you can on Earnest Johnson.
跟他的家人朋友談談 Talk to his family, his friends.
我要知道他讀什麼報紙 看什麼電視節目 I want to know what he reads, what television show he watches.
愛好 喜歡的食物 願望夢想和其他一切 His hobbies, his favorite foods, his hopes, his dreams, everything.
我們要做的就是拉到他這一票 All we have to do is win over one american mind!
Marty 我在想 You know, I was just thinking, Marty.
我想私人瞭解下這個Johnson I'd like to get to know this Bud Johnson. personally.
好的 Okay. good.
我該請他吃冰淇淋 Maybe take him out for some ice cream.
冰淇淋? Ice cream?
成年人都喜歡冰淇淋啊 What grown man doesn't like ice cream?
沒受過高等教育 沒有太多低等教育 No higher education, not much lower education.
離婚單親爸爸 最近失業了 Divorced single father, recently laid off.
我們第一步怎麼辦 What's our first step?
讓你跟他見面 Put you in a room together.
看你能不能拉到他的選票 See if you persuade him to come over to our side.
不錯啊 他跟我同處一室 I like it. him and me in a room. yes,
談談我們的想法 看看結果能怎樣 talking ideas, seeing what comes up.
好計劃 我幫你寫談話要點 Great plan. I'll get you some talking points.
我都準備好了 I'm good off the cuff already.
我知道啊 我們只是幫你整理一下思路 Of course! we're just gonna get an itty bitty think tank together.
我們查一下數據庫 找找你們的共同點 We'll run the data, see what you two could possibly have in common.
你的請願書被受理了 Your petition has been processed.
根據新墨西哥州法律 第一章十三款 And in accordance with new mexico state law, chapter 1, article 13,
十一節 Section 11.
你能讓那些記者撤退嗎 Could you do us a favor and back these news people up a little bit?
我們昨晚都沒睡好 We could barely sleep last night.
Earnest Johnson的投票權 Said voter Earnest Johnson, is hereby authorized...
在十天之內被重新授予 另與... To recast his vote 10 days from today along official.
有個胖子總是倚在我的卡車上 And there's a fat guy there, he keeps leaning on my truck...
照著我的倒後鏡 弄髮型 Fixing his hair in my side mirror.
Earnest Johnson的投票權 在十天之內 Said voter, Earnest Johnson, is hereby authorized to recast his vote...
被重新授予 另與官方文件聲明 10 days from today. along official documentary notification...
在州級以及聯邦當局一同生效 To both state, federal regulatory authorities.
Bud 從現在起你的生活就不一樣了 Bud, life's gonna be a little different from now on.
你馬上要雇保鏢了 You'll need security around the clock.
為什麼 For what?
你都家喻戶曉了 You're a household name.
國家裡的每一個政客都會親自來訪 Every political nut job in the country is gonna make their way down here.
十天內 你將要做美國國內最重要的決定 In 10 days, you gonna make the most important decision in the free world.
我們要確保這件事的公平公正 And it is our job to make sure this thing comes off fair and square.
如果你還有什麼要告訴我們的話 So, if there's anything that you think we need to know...
比如? Like what?
有些可能自動曝光的事情 Something we may find out later.
最好你現在主動說出來 Better now, than later.
先生 沒有那樣的事 No, sir, there's nothing to know.
Molly! Molly! Molly! Molly! Molly! Molly!
-我都不信她是他女兒 -誰是他女兒 - I don't believe it. she's his daughter! - who's his daughter?
夢想當美聯儲主席 贏過文章競賽的小女孩 The chairman of the fed, the girl that won the essay contest.
我在選舉日當天報道過她的事情 Remember, I ran the story on her, election day?
太巧了 電台正好要採訪他爸 This is perfect! the network wants to do an interview with her daddy.
我才不會利用一個小女孩 I'm not going to use this little girl!
我跟你說過我很正直的 像Paula Zahn一樣 （美國著名新聞播報員） I've told you this before. I have integrity, like paula zahn.
我見過Paula Zahn I met paula zahn.
Paula Zahn在我朋友做服務生的地方吃飯 Paula zahn eats where my friend is a waiter, alright?
我不想傷害你的感情 你跟Paula Zahn不一樣 I don't want to hurt your feelings, you're no paula zahn.
不一樣? No paula zahn?
這報導是屬於我的 I booked this story. it was me.
每個人都想背後搶你生意 Yes, that's why everybody here is trying to rip it out from under you.
你想在紐約或者洛杉磯有一席之地 檢查你的良心吧 You want a desk in new york, you want a desk in los angeles? Check your conscience
在學校學的那些都忘掉吧 Forget everything you learned in journalism school.
這不是新聞或平凡生活 這是更嚴肅的事情 This isn't news anymore. this isn't life. this is bigger.
這就是電視產業 This is television!
Johnson一家一直躲在他們的拖車裡 The Johnsons have been virtually besieged inside their trailer.
但是我們遇到了給他送比薩餅的人 But we're lucky to be joined by their pizza delivery man.
你怎麼形容Earnest Johnson的思想狀態 How would you characterize Earnest Johnson's state of mind?
我得說 大部分的時候他都餓著 Mostly I'd say, he was hungry.
他都"餓"著 He was hungry.
這就對了 Well, there you have it.
我再不給他小費了 I ain't tipping him anymore.
我該幫Mr Hardy修剪下他的榆樹了 I ought to trim mrs. hardy's elm.
好像在我們頭頂上拍的 你覺得呢 Looks like it's moving in our roof. what do you think?
難說 你覺得呢 Hard to tell. what do you think?
肯定是 Definitely.
這個鎮子成了最火的搜索引擎關鍵詞 Since has become the most googled town in the world...
都快趕上Jihad（阿拉伯語 聖戰）了 Narrowly edging out in jihad.
我的老天爺 Holy crap!
-Bud? -是啊 - you Bud? - yeah!
你是Richard Petty（前納斯卡車手） You're richard petty.
答對了 You got it, man.
等一下 寶貝 老大來了 Hold on. honey! it's the king!
路口有個朋友我想讓你見見 想上車嗎? I got a friend down the road I want you to meet. you wanna go for a ride?
當然了 我女兒能一起嗎 Yes! could my daughter come?
這樣的話, 那還是你開車好了 別把寶貝女兒傷到了 In that case, maybe you'd better drive. precious cargo and all!
稍等一下 Petty先生 胖子! Just a minute, mr. petty. hey, chubby!
整天扛著個攝像機 你累不累啊 快滾吧 Just because it ain't rolling, don't make it furniture! back out of here!
來吧 寶貝女 咱們得走了 Come on, baby! we gotta go!
你可是Richard Petty啊 You're richard petty!
Molly 親愛的給我照張像 Molly! get a picture, honey.
兩天前你要是跟我說 我會開著你的道奇... If you told me two days ago that I'd be driving your dodge...
-拍到了嗎 -是的 - did you get it? - yes.
再來一張 我把下巴露出來 像這樣 Get one more. get it with my chin out a little bit. like that.
像英雄那樣 Like a hero.
跟你說了 你是個瘋子 I told you, you crazy!
你還什麼都沒見識到呢 You ain't seen nothing yet.
Bud Bud!
這是空軍一號 This is the president's plane.
你一定是Molly了 我姓Fox 跟總統共事 Hello, you be Molly. I'm mr. fox, I work with the president.
兄弟 我是Martin Fox Hi. hi. Bud, martin fox.
-你好 -你好嗎 進來吧 - hello. - how are you? come in.
請把帽子摘了 Take your hat off please. your hat.
這就是Johnson一家了 So, this is the Johnson family.
歡迎來到空軍一號 嗨 Molly Welcome to air force one. hi, Molly.
-先生謝謝你請我們來 -是我的榮幸 - thanks for having us, sir. - it's a pleasure.
-是總統先生 -呃? - mr. president. - huh?
叫他總統先生 Call him mr. president.
這是我的榮幸 總統先生 It's an honor, mr. president.
見到你是我的榮幸 Bud 能叫你Bud嗎 It's an honor to meet you, Bud. may I call you Bud?
當然了 總統先生 Yes, mr. president.
進來吧 Come on in, come on.
天哪 God, this...
這地方也太誇張了 This place is it's really something!
這是我的空中小屋 It's my little home in the sky.
就像是個有翅膀的拖車 It's kinda, like a trailer with wings.
比喻的好 Bud Fine analogy, Bud.
Molly 那天我在電視上看到你的演說了 Molly, I saw your speech on tv the other night.
印象深刻 Very impressive!
-說謝謝啊 寶貝女 -謝謝 總統先生 - say thank you, baby. - thank you, mr. president.
-你一定很自豪吧 -是的先生 - you must be a very proud father. - yes, sir.
天哪 又錯了 是"總統"先生 God, I'm sorry. mr. president.
你能看出來吧 她才是我們家的幕後首腦 You can see why she's definitely the brains of our operation.
我明白你的意思 我們都需要一個幕後首腦 I know what you mean. we all need a Molly.
這位Marty就是我的幕後首腦 Marty here, is my Molly.
對了 Molly 一個像你這麼聰明的孩子 That's right. Molly, I bet a smart kid like you...
會對戰爭陳列室感興趣吧 Would love to see the war room.
不用了 謝謝 No, thanks.
我們去看看吧 Why don't we have a peek and then
讓爸爸跟總統先生談談 Your dad and the president can have a talk.
去吧 寶貝 老爸要跟總統談談 Go on, honey. daddy has to talk to the president.
你女兒真可愛 She's a firecracker!
是的先生 她對我很重要 Yes, sir, she's the whole deal!
其實我也想看看戰爭陳列室 總統先生 I wouldn't mind seeing the war room, mr. president.
我等會就帶你去看 請叫我Andy吧 I'll show it to you later. and please, call me Andy.
-叫你Andy? -是的 - Andy? - yeah.
你確定嗎 那個人... Are you sure, that-that other guy...
這裡有時很正式的 I know, things can get a little formal around here.
總指揮官管理整個國家 難免的嘛 Commander in chief, running the country and all that. please.
我只是一個普通人 跟你一樣 I am just an ordinary man, like you...
我們可以把酒同歡 The kinda guy you can sit down and have a beer with.
你想喝啤酒嗎 Bud Would you like a beer, Bud?
啤酒? A beer?
沒開玩笑? No shit?
沒開玩笑 No shit.
那樣的話 Well, then...
-當然要了 Andy -沒問題 - yes. hell, yeah, Andy. - okay!
David 你能給我們來點啤酒嗎 David, would you get us a couple of beers, please?
-多謝了 -所以呢... - thank you very much. - so...
你回家後有故事跟小朋友們講了 You're gonna have some story to tell your friends.
我讀過有關你的報導 你沒輸過一場選舉 I read about you in the paper. they say you've never lost an election.
沒錯 讀報可以讓你見多識廣 That's right. you can learn a lot from reading the newspaper.
他們還說 你都沒有信仰不擇手段了 They also said that you don't believe in anything anymore.
就算出賣你母親的靈魂 Even if it meant selling your mother's soul.
不對 那是誹謗 我母親是一個很傑出 No, see, no, see that's libelous, because my mother is a wonderful...
很傑出的女性 Wonderful, wonderful woman.
如果你見過我母親 你就明白了 If you met my mother, you'd understand.
你是橄欖球迷嗎 兄弟 You a football fan, Bud?
美國人都喜歡的 是吧 Well, I'm an american, aren't i?
高中的時候玩過 I played a little in high school.
是嗎 打什麼位置 Did you now? what position?
四分衛 I was quarterback.
我一直以為橄欖球是個策略運動 就像外交 I always thought football was a strategic game. a lot like diplomacy.
你要有進攻 有防守 You got your offense, your defense,
總統就是四分衛 The president is like your quarterback...
美國選民 And the american voters...
就像是教練 Well... they're like the coach.
從沒有這麼想過 Never thought of it that way.
教練的工作就是確保 Now the coach's job is to make sure...
關鍵時刻 控球權在正確的隊員手中 That the right man has the football at the critical time.
我完全明白你的意思 Andy I know exactly what you mean, Andy.
是嗎 Do you?
有點不明白 Maybe not.
請把橄欖球拿進來 Bring in the football, please.
Bud Bud.
你想拿一下橄欖球嗎 You wanna hold the football?
這裡有個橄欖球? There's a football in there?
這個箱子裡 裝著 That case holds the launch codes...
美國核武發射密碼 To america's nuclear arsenal.
選舉就是為了這些 That's what this election's all about.
發射密碼 你是說發射導彈嗎 Launch codes like... missiles and shit?
我想讓你假想下 美國就是一個球隊 I want you to pretend that america is a team...
-你是教練 -好吧 - and you're the coach. - okay.
現在是比賽第四節了 Let's say it's the 4th quarter.
我們有控球權 但是落後五分 We've got possession, but we're down by five.
北韓隊已經壓到了我們的後場 North korea has us pinned in our own fifteenth line...
剩下最後一秒鐘 你能怎麼辦 With one second on the dooms day clock. what are you doing to do?
對了 你用遠投 勝利和失敗的差別 Okay, you go long. the only thing standing between victory and defeat...
就是孤注一擲 Is a successful hail mary. one play.
你想把球交給誰呢 兄弟 Who are you gonna give the ball to, Bud?
你會把勝利的希望交給一個整個賽季 Do you pin your hopes on some liberal second string quarterback...
只出場五分鐘的二線四分衛嗎 當然不行 Who hasn't had five minutes in the big show? of course you don't.
你要做明智的決定 You do the smart thing.
唯一的決定 你選最強的球員 The only thing. you go with your strongest arm, the man...
整個賽季都出場 不會讓你失望的球員 Who's carried you through the season, who's never let you down.
Bud 美國靠你了 Bud, america's counting on you.
我不會讓美國人失望的 Yes, sir. I'm not gonna let them down.
不過 這個給你 But, here.
我不想把橄欖球掉了 Wouldn't want to drop the old football.
別把法國炸飛了 Blow up france or something.
放心吧 You couldn't.
有一連串的密碼和鑰匙呢 There's a whole bunch of secret codes and these special little keys.
程序複雜著呢 A whole song in dance.
敬你一杯 Here's to you!
看啊 看他們給的這些東西 Look at all... look at all this stuff they give us, Molly.
他們把總統用的那種洗髮精給我們了 They give us the same shampoo that the president uses.
太棒了 Great.
你們談什麼了 So, what did you guys talk about?
-談些事情 -什麼事情 - stuff. - what stuff?
就是... You know...
成年人的事情 Grown up stuff.
比如? Like?
比如... Like...
Bud Bud!
到底什麼事 What stuff?
就是成年人的事情 教練啊橄欖球啊 Like grown up stuff. you know, coaching. football.
核戰啊 Geothermal nuclear war.
Andy是個很好的人 Andy's, a great... great guy.
他不是Andy 他是美國總統 He's not Andy. he's the president of the united states.
他就是想拉你的票 And he just wants your vote.
那我就投他的票 And gee, guess what? he's gonna get it.
你甚至沒有去投票 It's not even yours to give!
你這樣就... You're gonna...
毀了一切 Ruin everything.
Andy 我們的總統 邀請我去看比賽 Andy, the president, invited me to watch the game...
-星期一晚上 -那是賄賂 - with him on monday night. - that's a bribe!
才不是賄賂 That's not a bribe.
-就是 -不是 - is too. - it is not.
-就是 -不是 什麼就是 - is too! - is not! what it is, "too"?
-你懂什麼 -比你懂得多 - what the hell do you know? - more than you.
-才不是 -就是 - you do not. - do too.
-好吧 -好吧 - fine. - fine.
你聞到飛機上的真皮味道了嗎 Did you smell all the leather on that plane?
如果我讓你備受冷落 If I made you feel second best
我為自己的盲目道歉 I'm sorry I was blind
別換台 寶貝女 那是Willie啊 No, baby, leave it, leave it. that's willie.
你令我念念不忘 You were always on my mind
我是Willlie Nelson（鄉村歌手 喜歡自我炒作） Hi, I'm willie nelson.
我不表演的時候 我通常都有所涉略 And when I'm not performing, I'm usually getting involved.
Bud 如果你在看的話 Hey, Bud, if you're out there and you're watching...
他在跟我們說話呢 He's talking to us!
今晚為你準備的特別晚餐 There's a special dinner, especially for you in your honor...
由我的好朋友也是總統候選人Donad Greenleaf做東 Hosted by my good friend and presidential candidate Donald greenleaf.
-今晚我等你了 -我會去的 Willie - I'll see you here tonight. - I'll do it, willie!
這事越來越蹊蹺了 This is really getting weird.